Yes, I know. (And Google SEO)

Dear readers

I know I have very few readers.

But like Radio 4 listeners, you are all passionate and attentive.

(Yes, I flatter myself.)

Therefore I owe you all an apology that my wordpress blog hasn’t been reachable from its domain name hazymat.co.uk for a while. It’s all the fault of WordPress.com, honest.

Okay, I’m talking like I know you all. In reality, the only person reading this is Mr Schlackman (a big shout out, yo). Sorry, I slipped into Radio 1 there. Or Radio 1 Xtra, or whatever.

Anyway, dear readers, I’ve had nobody in real life to talk to about this, so I shall rant about it here.

SEO is a really fun subject to get into.

But one of my favourite parts of reading and learning about it is hearing things from the horse’s mouth.

The horse (aka Google) has a wonderfully dry, witty tone of writing when it addresses common SEO questions.

For example, they write:

Be wary of SEO firms and web consultants or agencies that send you email out of the blue.
Amazingly, we get these spam emails too:
“Dear google.com,
I visited your website and noticed that you are not listed in most of the major search engines and directories…”
Reserve the same skepticism for unsolicited email about search engines as you do for “burn fat at night” diet pills or requests to help transfer funds from deposed dictators.

Be wary of SEO firms and web consultants or agencies that send you email out of the blue.

Amazingly, we get these spam emails too:

“Dear google.com,

I visited your website and noticed that you are not listed in most of the major search engines and directories…”

Reserve the same skepticism for unsolicited email about search engines as you do for “burn fat at night” diet pills or requests to help transfer funds from deposed dictators.

This makes me laugh, a lot. (I have spent too long finding matters of SEO that are normally boring in everyday life, strangely interesting, and therefore Google’s humour makes for relatively hilarious reading.)

Anyway, a special one for Mr Schlackman, if he hasn’t already seen it.

Best Microsoft KB article ever written.

Best Easter Egg (?) ever discovered? It’s subtle, but it’s brilliant.

http://support.microsoft.com/kb/281923

This led me to some site searches combining technical terms with amusing words. Such as:

[google search]: site:microsoft.com active directory dog

[google search]: site:technet.microsoft.com ipsec bum

And if you go to this link below (don’t), it takes you to a page that I am dying to know how it got there in the first place given its URL, and what the file *really* actually is, but contains, according to google, within the binary for the ACC file, the C* word. Hilarious.

http://download.microsoft.com/download/6/e/6/6e68730e-6723-412b-9b3c-d527510f0865/aac-21a_9.aac

3 comments

  1. I’ll have you know you’re an important fixture in my Google Reader feed menagerie.

    love and kisses.

  2. I see your silver-haired icon Easter egg and raise you THIS:

    http://support.microsoft.com/kb/261186

  3. Okay okay, so I get TWO readers of my blog! Haha.

    JSc: I love that article.

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